One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to make out with him forever
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
