Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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