There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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