I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
