Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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