ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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