I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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