Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize