Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
