Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
be right there i have to get my cape
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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