if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
