Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize