...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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