I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my poor anus
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize