He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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