You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
