I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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