Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
