My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
