yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
