i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
