so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
