I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
