I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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