I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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