Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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