Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
