No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
