Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
