haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
