I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
