Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My liver just had a heart attack.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize