She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well you can't waste a boner
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize