Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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