I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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