i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
