Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
