On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
