I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
