My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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