Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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