i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
