ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do vagina's smell?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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