I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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