I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
