You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
try to milk me bitch
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
