I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
