please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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