I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
