is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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