the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
