absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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