I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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