and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
