my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
