Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
