We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
