you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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