I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
