I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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