he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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