He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she told me i tasted like america
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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