you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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