He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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