bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
