Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
