I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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