I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
