My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
