U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize